When I was on my "spiritual" path, I heard much about the power of
intention, visualization, moving in the direction of your desires, etc.
However, what I was experiencing at the time, although sometimes was
disguised as excitement and passion, was nothing more than the absence
of my inner peace.
Still, it was very difficult to choose peace, because in doing so it
means I would have to put aside all effort, all fight, all struggle,
even I would have to put aside my "responsibilities."
Notice I put the word responsibilities in quotes, because for me,
responsibilities were things I had to do to survive, to keep this mask,
this image, this idea that I have created about myself, even to keep the
idea society expects of me.
And all this is based on the belief that I am a separate entity,
separate from all, separate from its source, in a world where you have
to survive to get ahead, in a world that rewards those who “win”, in a
world that once again, thinks it is my source. That kept me in a never
ending fight, looking for ways to make sure that I felt "safe." That
does not mean I'm going to leave everything aside, and stop doing what I
have to do in order to be able to function in this world. That all
happens very
naturally, when the mind is focused on the present, not intentions or personal agendas.
Continuing with the theme we are discussing, the apparent "security"
disguised under the word "responsibility" was what was behind all my
visualizations, affirmations, in other words, intentions. But even when I
did all those practices, including, where it appeared as if I succeeded
in some of them, life had a very interesting way to constantly surprise
me when things changed before my eyes.
What I realized was that this "security" never existed. And even if
some people feel they have "security" perhaps in the area of finances,
the area of health, emotional or relationship, or any other area
falters. As we can see, neither control nor money can buy health or
emotional security or relationships. In short, there must be another way
to live, and I discovered it when my life totally felt apart.
How interesting that when our life falls apart, one of two things
happen, either we suffer and fight until we die, or simply we surrender
to it. That surrendering, which is why the title of my book is
What Happens When You Let God is the key to liberation.
It frees you emotionally, directing the mind to inner peace, and
paradoxically, life begins to be perceived differently. The control is
replaced by trust. Not trust in ourselves (our intentions), but trust in
life, which knows more than we do.
Life itself taught me that if I live each present moment completely,
the future would take care of itself. However, my "experience" taught
me, over and over again, that when I wanted to take control of my life,
even when at times I may have experienced an occasional pleasure, pain
was hidden behind every pleasure.
But that awareness did not come to me overnight, although it could
have had I let go of my resistance to life, had I let go of my
intentions earlier. I had to consciously choose to practice inner peace
above all things, even when I was experiencing with fear, even when I
was experiencing uncertainty, even when I was experiencing pain, even
when I was experiencing myself as suffering, even if the "world" was
constantly telling me what I "should "do (which is nothing but my own
fears proyected autward). Yet these moments of peace replaced those
concerns, which for me was proof that it was the only sane thing I could
do.
Within these moments of peace, although sometimes were only
temporary, is where ideas arose from, regarding what had to be done at
that moment in “time”, that paradoxically took me out of my own
crossroads.
And the reason my intentions could not help me, it was because the
purpose of intentions are to put my attention out in the "world", to fix
mi seeming problems, in other words, to disconnect from my inner self
so that I continue identified with the little "i" who believes to be
here writing these words, living in a world where you I have to survive.
However, when my focus is inward, where there are no distractions of
any kind, is where oneness, or unity is experienced. And from that space
of unity spring forth not only ideas, but also the resources that could
help carried out the ideas that came from that peaceful state on mind.
But beware, however! Ideas and resources are not for us to change
something in our world (outside) so that we continue to put our
attention on it, but to help us experience more and more peace while we
are having the experience of being in this world. For some people the
temporary illusiory resource that would be needed to continue to
experience that peace could be a change in their financial situation, in
others a change in their health, in others a change in their emotional
state or relationship, in others a change in work / career, or a job
opportunity, or as most of us, a combination of all.
The important thing here is to recognize that these changes do not
come through "intentions" or personal requests, but occur very
naturally to help us continue to choose inner peace
without the distractions that these changes in experiences could have caused us.
That’s why it could be said that Jesus did not heal everybody who
came to him for just healing, although he could have, but he simly
facilitated healing only to those who really had faith in his teachings,
because what they really wanted was to live the message of Christ. Of
coures I am talking about the historical Jesus here, but the message is
still the same.
So if your relationship with your Self is what you really want (if are going to have intentions, that would be the
only sane one to have), then, put aside
all your intentions, and focus daily in choosing inner peace as your practice. That’s why it is said that "
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all else will be added unto you." [Matthew 6:33]
Intention creates tension and therefore keeps you away from the
kingdom. Peace not only brings you closer to the Kingdom, but reminds
you that
you are the Kingdom, as A Course in Miracles reminds us, Instead of
"’Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven’ say, ‘Will ye first the Kingdom of Heaven,’ and you have said, ‘I know what I am and I accept my own inheritance.’" T-3.VI.11:8
For more information about Nick Arandes’ work, visit his website: www.NickArandes.com